Coat ofArms

Sunday, 17 July 2011

Joke of the Day

A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You are beautiful.” Then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later, his eyes fluttered open and he said, “You are cute!” The wife was disappointed because instead of “beautiful,” it was now “cute.” She said, “What happened to ‘beautiful’?”
Her husband replied, “The drugs are wearing off!”


Senior Bumper Stickers  

Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you too.  Don't laugh ....
it is all true.
Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!
1.  Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
 In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. 

3. No one expects you to run ... anywhere.
 People call at 9 PM and ask, did I wake you?
5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
  There is nothing left to learn the hard way. 
7. Things you buy now won't wear out.

  You can eat supper at 4 PM. 

9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
  You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
  You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.  

13.  You sing along with elevator music.
 Your eyes won't get much worse. 
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. 

  Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service. 
17.  Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
 Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size. 

19. You can't remember who sent you this list.
And you notice these are all in Big Print for your convenience.
Forward this to every one you can remember right now!
 And Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.......  

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