Coat ofArms

Wednesday, 14 May 2014

Joke of the Day - Wednesday 14 May 2014

Diary of a woman on a Cruise ...

Day 1
I prepare for this wonderful cruise.
I packed my clothes. I'm so excited !

Day 2
All day at sea Splendide!
Saw dolphins and whales.
What a great time !
Today I met the Captain, a handsome man , Alain Delon about 40 + years.

Day 3
Pool. I did a little surfing and shot a few golf balls.
Captain has invited me  to his table for dinner. It was an honor and I had a good time .
This is a very attractive and attentive man, he has beautiful blue eyes.

Day 4
I went to the casino on the cruise and I got lucky !
Captain invited me to lunch at his cabin.
Sumptuous meal with caviar and champagne.
He asked me to spend the afternoon in his cabin, but I declined the invitation.
I told him I did not want to be unfaithful to my husband.

Day 5
I returned to the pool and then I decided to go to the piano bar and spend the rest of the day.
Captain saw me and invited me for a drink .
Actually, he is a charming man .
He asked me if I wanted to go to his cabin that night ,
I told him no. He told me that if I did not change my mind, he would sink the ship.

Day 6
Last night I saved 1600 people ... four times ! ! !

Sunday, 11 May 2014

Mother's Day First Solo Skydive since crash

Today my Nephew Jason was in town so we went to Skydive Vancouver in Abbotsford and he watch me do my first solo skydive since my plane crash Aug 3rd, 2008.  It felt great to fly my brand new Mirage G-5 and Safire2 custom canopy.  I will be back for more, the skydive Bug bite me again.  Here's a few photos Jason took from the ground.

Thursday, 1 May 2014

Joke of the Day - Thursday 01 May 2014

Courtesy of my Good friend Rod Gregg
Police Officer Test

How do you tell the difference between an English Police Officer, a Canadian Police Officer, an American Police Officer and a Scottish police officer?
QUESTION: You're on duty by yourself (don't ask why, you just are, and your Sergeant hates you) walking on a deserted street late at night.
Suddenly, an armed man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife and lunges at you.
You are carrying your truncheon and are an expert in using it. However, you have only a split second to react before he reaches you.  What do you do ?

English  Police Officer:

Firstly, the Officer must consider the man's human rights.

1) Does the man look poor or oppressed ?

2) Is he newly arrived in this country and does not yet understand the law ?

3) Is this really a knife or a ceremonial dagger ?

4) Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack ?

5) Am I dressed provocatively ?

6) Could I run away ?

7) Could I possibly swing my truncheon and knock the knife out of his hand ?

8) Should I try and negotiate with him to discuss his wrong-doings ?

9) Why am I carrying a truncheon anyway and what kind of message does this send to society ?

10) Does he definitely want to kill me or would he be content just to wound me ?

11) If I were to grab his knees and hold on, would he still want to stab and kill me ?

12) If I raise my truncheon and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed if he falls over, knocks his head and kills himself ?

13) If I hurt him and lose the subsequent court case, does he have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and the loss of my family home ?

Canadian Police Officer:

American Police Officer:



Glasgow Police Officer:

"Haw, Jimmie.. Drop the knife, now, unless you want it stuck up yer arse!"