Coat ofArms

Sunday, 15 April 2012

Joke of the Day - Sun 15 April 2012


Got this from my Brother Emile a while back,  must have forgotten to post it, funny one.

Headlines from the year 2030

1. Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the second-largest country in the world, New India , formerly known as Canada.
2. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Canada 's third language.
 
3. Children from 2-parent heterosexual families bullied in schools for being 'different' -- tolerance urged.
 
4. Gay marriages now overtake heterosexual marriages as preferred 'lifestyle' choice.
 
5. Calgary schoolgirl expelled for not wearing burqa -- being Christian is no excuse, says school:  Sharia law must be enforced.
 
6. Japan announces it will no longer consume whale meat as whales are now extinct and the scientific research fleet is unemployed.
 
7. Canada now has 10 universities of political correctness. Professor Goldman of ACLU says there is still a long way to go in the fight to stop people saying what they think.
 
8. Canadian deficit $10 trillion and rising; Government declares return to surplus in 100 years -- 300 years ahead of schedulPM Mohammed Yousuf claims increased growth through more immigration is the secret to success.
 
9. Wall Street banks merge to form new super bank, Goldman Rothschild Ebeneezer Epstein Drescher (GREED):  Huge bonuses paid to executives to celebrate launch.
 
10. The Leafs have finally given up hockey and are now taken up cricket and are importing players from India and Pakistan complete withfamilies and friends.
 
11. Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.
 
12. France pleads for global help after being taken over by Islamic countries -- no nation steps forward.
 
13. Castro dies aged 104; Cuban cigars can now be imported to US legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned smoking.
 
14. Canada Post raises price of stamps to $18 and cuts deliveries to Wednesdays only... & yes they will be paid standby for rest of week.They are contemplating another strike for more perks.
 
15. Global cooling blamed for wheat crop failure for third consecutive year in New India ( Canada ). They have been told that rice will notwork here. Squatters could be part of the problem too?
 
16. Supreme Court rules punishing criminals violates their civil rights:
Victims to share responsibility for crime.
 
17. New law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers be registered by January 2035 as lethalweapons.
 
18. Canadian Tax Office cuts tax rate to 85  per cent -- lowest in decades...



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