Coat ofArms

Saturday, 25 August 2012

Some other good one from my Bro Emile

Last Saturday on my BLOG I put a good one that my friend Rod Gregg had sent me from Texas about comedian Jeff Foxworthy's view on Muslims  Jeff Foxworthy on Muslims on this BLOG click here<<<
Here's a good one that my Bro sent me:

Soon in Montreal, New Metro Subways
Always Client oriented, the City of Montreal will be opening a new Subway line

The Nail

A blonde city girl named Amy marries a Missouri farmer. 

One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy: 'The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today, so I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above where the cow's stall is in the barn. Please show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?' 

The rancher leaves for the fields. After a while, the artificial insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door. 

Amy takes him down to the barn. They walk along the row of cows, and when Amy sees the nail, she tells him, 'This is the one right here.' 

The man, assuming he is dealing with an airhead blonde, asks, 'Tell me lady, 'cause I'm dying to know how would YOU know that this is the right cow to be bred?' 

'That's simple," she said, "by the nail that's over its stall,' she explains very confidently. 

Laughing rudely at her, the man says, 'And what, pray tell, is the nail for?' 

The blonde turns to walk away and says sweetly over her shoulder, 'I guess it's to hang your pants on.'

(It's nice to see a blonde winning once in a while.)

My wife was screaming at me:  "Leave!  Get out of this house!" she ordered.

As I was walking out the door she yelled, "I hope you die a slow and painful death!"

I then turned around and replied,"So, now you want me to stay?"

Only in This Stupid World drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in This Stupid World people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in This Stupid World banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters..

Only in This Stupid World we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put
our useless junk in the garage.

Only in This Stupid World we buy hot dogs in package of ten and buns in packages of eight..

Only in This Stupid World they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

...Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

Why is it that Doctors call what they do 'practice'?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes? 

(this is a good one!)
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone. We all need to smile every once in a while.

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