Got this one from my Big Bro Emile in Regina, he's been sending me good ones lately, Thank Bro.
Something to offend everyone
· I’m living next door to a Lebanese couple at the moment. They have 3 little kids and they’ve challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I’m just writing to you while the kettle boils!
· Can you spare just $2? Ranji is a 9yr old boy living in Namibia . He has only 1 leg, 1 arm and 1 eye. Each day he has to ride 7 miles to school along a narrow road on a rusty bike with bent wheels, no brakes and only 1 pedal. If you send us just $2, we will send you the video – its fucking hilarious.
· I’ve caught a stray parrot in my garden. All he says is, "good morning you ugly prick?" It’s not yours is it?
· I’m sick to death of people knocking on my door looking for donations. Just had one from the sperm bank. Boy, did I give her a mouthful.
· Been to the optometrist today – he told me I was color blind. I’m fuckin' worried now that some of my buddies could be black.
If you are, can you delete my e-mail address?
· There’s a new anti-depressant for lesbians on the market: Trycoxagain.
· I failed my biology exam today. I was asked to name 2 things commonly found in cells. Apparently, Mexicans and black rapists is not the correct answer.
· Can you spare just $2? Ranji is a 9yr old boy living in Namibia . He has only 1 leg, 1 arm and 1 eye. Each day he has to ride 7 miles to school along a narrow road on a rusty bike with bent wheels, no brakes and only 1 pedal. If you send us just $2, we will send you the video – its fucking hilarious.
· I’ve caught a stray parrot in my garden. All he says is, "good morning you ugly prick?" It’s not yours is it?
· I’m sick to death of people knocking on my door looking for donations. Just had one from the sperm bank. Boy, did I give her a mouthful.
· Been to the optometrist today – he told me I was color blind. I’m fuckin' worried now that some of my buddies could be black.
If you are, can you delete my e-mail address?
· There’s a new anti-depressant for lesbians on the market: Trycoxagain.
· I failed my biology exam today. I was asked to name 2 things commonly found in cells. Apparently, Mexicans and black rapists is not the correct answer.
Wife texts husband on a cold winters morning:
"Windows frozen".
Husband texts back:
"pour some luke warm water over it".
Wife texts back:
"computer completely fucked now".
"Windows frozen".
Husband texts back:
"pour some luke warm water over it".
Wife texts back:
"computer completely fucked now".
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