Got this one from my good friend Rod Gregg in Texas, very good
AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:
1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the Vegetables while you chop.
2. Avoid arguments with Females about lifting the Toilet seat simply by using the Sink.
3. For High Blood pressure sufferers ~ Simply Cut yourself and Bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a Timer.
4. A Mouse Trap placed on Top of your Alarm Clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the Snooze Button.
5. If you have a Bad Cough, Take a large Dose of Laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to Cough.
6. You only need two tools in Life. WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use WD-40.
If it Shouldn't Move and Does, Use Duct Tape
7. If you can't Fix it with a Hammer, You've got an electrical problem.
Some People are like SLINKIES - Not Really Good for anything, But they bring a Smile to your face, when pushed down the stairs.