Coat ofArms

Thursday, 15 September 2011

Jokes of the Day - Thursday 15th September 2011

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture", and their other announcements a bit more entertaining.  Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:


1. On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant
crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached
cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for
your comfort, and to enhance the appearance of your flight
attendants."
2. On landing the stewardess said, "There may be 50 ways to leave
your lover, but there are only 4 ways out off this airplane."
3. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington
National, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella.
WHOA!"
4. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in
Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please
take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a
landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."
5. "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will
descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull
it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you,
secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with
more than one small child, pick your favorite."

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It was mealtime during an airline flight. 'Would you like dinner?' the
flight attendant asked John, seated in front. 'What are my choices?' 
Greg asked. 
'Yes or no,' she replied.
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Pilot: Have you ever flown in a small plane before?
Passenger: No, I have not.
Pilot: Well, here is some chewing gum. It will help to keep your ears from popping.
Pilot (after the plane landed): Did the gum help?
Passenger: Yep. It worked fine. The only trouble is I can’t get the gum out of my ears.
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Q: If you are flying in an airplane and it gets on fire where do you come out?
A: In the news.
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